Topic 1 Five Wrong Parental Reactions
- Anger- “How can you be so stupid?” words often hurt and children identify with them. Anger may and should not lead to aggressive behaviour. Anger is one of the basic human emotions, we all get angry, the difference is how we behave when we are angry.
- Excessive anxiety – “I failed as a parent” – even if you are very emotional by nature, you don’t have to panic over every teenage problem. Assess the situation soberly and set a good example for your child on how to perceive negative events in the future.
- Ridicule or comparison – “You will become just like…” – there are many reasons which could encourage our children to use tobacco products. By “devaluing” their experiences, commenting on them with ridicule, we risk never teaching them to face their problems bravely and solve them.
- Rudeness and violence – “You will greatly regret what you did someday” – we need to focus on the idea of righting wrongs, learning how it’s done. We need to show kids that even the big mistakes everyone makes are fixable.
- Indifference – “I don’t care that you smoke, it’s on you, you’ll get sick one day” – a parental reaction which neglects the child’s problem. If you neglect this problem, children may remain misunderstood, lonely and lose trust in you.
In life with children, very often we feel exhausted, frustrated or scared. Children learn from us how to behave even when we are angry. In a conflict situation, it is not reason that dominates, but emotions. So we need to look for a way to control emotions. To resolve conflict is to preserve, not destroy, relationships. Conflict is not a victory but an agreement.
