Topic 5 Some Guidelines for Interaction without Violence

  • Condemn the unwanted behaviour, not the child/teenager – Smoking is dangerous for your physical development, I am sure you will choose to be healthy and strong.“
  • Have a conversation about the unacceptable behaviour/act – ” Let’s talk about why it got to this point and how to fix it “
  • To use natural and logical consequences – “If you continue to smoke, you will have bad breath, aged skin and will often be left without pocket money.”
  • Guide the child/teen to compensate for the “unacceptable” behaviour – “Let’s work together to figure out how to fix this situation”
  • Take away privileges – e.g. seeing friends, going to his/her favourite club.

Prevention of tobacco use in children and adolescents and subsequent cessation at an early stage can be a consequence of cooperation between children and parents, which is not a consequence of parental disciplinary action, but results from positive relationships between children and their parents. Enjoyment of communication, mutual respect and warm relationships are prerequisites for children and adolescents to acquire positive behaviour from an early age:

  • Regardless of age, parents should pay regular and positive attention to their children – to show interest also in their peers, in success at school;
  • Listen carefully to their children and help them express their feelings;
  • Help them to draw conclusions about the consequences of their choices;
  • To stimulate the manifestations of desirable behaviour, the successes achieved by limiting criticism and small mistakes.

A tale of the Wind and the Sun

The wind and the sun argued over who was stronger. They saw a traveler coming and the Sun suggested:

  • Here is how we’ll settle our dispute. The more powerful of us two is the one who makes the traveler take off his coat. Come on, you are first!

The Wind agreed and began to blow with all its might until the Sun hid behind a cloud. The greater its force, the more the man wrapped his coat around himself. Finally, the Wind gave up in despair. Then the Sun rose and enveloped the traveler with all its warmth. Soon after, he took off his coat himself. Thus it became evident that the heat was stronger than the bitterest cold.